I Won't Let Go
by Startisparticus2017
Summary: Episode related: Starsky vs Hutch. The departure of one leaves the other with a temporary partner. A special thank you my beta reader Sandy.


**STARSKY & HUTCH**

 **I Won't Let Go**

 **By Startisparticus2017**

 **Another Version of Starsky vs Hutch**

 **A disclaimer:** ** _I do not own the characters/song associated or make a profit off the stories; the story is for entertainment purposes only_** **.**

 **Description:** The departure of one leaves the other with a temporary partner.

 **Characters:** David Starsky, Ken Hutchinson, Captain Dobey, Huggy Bear, Devon Bailey, Minnie, Louis Lipowitz, Lucious Lipowitz, Henly, Larry Lipowitz, Major Daniel Travis

 **Song:** I Won't Let Go, by Rascal Flatts

 **I Won't Let Go…**

Hutch stood in a long dark hallway with his gun in a readied position for the action he anticipated. His eyes searched each open door.

"Bailey, what's your position?" He pushed the door to his left with his foot. Hutch stood exasperated when he received no reply.

"BAILEY!" His voice was just above a whisper, but annoyed.

The door to the right swung open abruptly, a thin man wide eyed and perspiring stepped through with gun in hand. He pointed his gun toward Hutch and fired a shot Hutch lunged to the left. "Police freeze!"

The man fired his gun once again and missed. Hutch raised his gun; he took a split second to aim before he shot the crazed man in the right shoulder. The thin man jerked back, dropped his gun and fell to his knees. Hutch kicked the man's gun away, holstered his own gun, and bent over gasping for air. He stood to notice a baby-faced, green-eyed blond young man with a gun drawn backing up. The young man tripped on a crease in the carpet, fell on his butt. The kid jumped to his feet quickly with his gun once again drawn.

"We got him, Hutch!" His hands shook and he grinned with a blushed face and bewildered eyes.

Hutch took a deep breath and glared at him.

"Where the hell were you?" His voice loud and harsh startled everyone within hearing distance.

The young man's grin went away, his shoulders dropped.

"Cuff him and read him his rights, Bailey!" Hutch adjusted his jacket and walked past the young man who now stood with a look of a horror. Three officers in uniform entered and walked past Hutch who was obviously displaying his bad mood.

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Hutch stood outside by his car that his partner had christened 'the battered rust bucket.' He leaned against the car rubbing the crease between his eyes and sighed; he crossed his arms and glanced around at the chaos of black and whites, someone was missing and it tugged at his heart.

Hutch's thoughts brought him to Kira's as he stood tucking in his shirt by the bedroom as Starsky stood near the front door. Kira stood in front of him as he displayed a gift in his hands. The look on his face was marked by hurt and disappointment, but most of all it read 'you betrayed me', like a projector in his mind.

" _You just wanted to straighten things out, clear up the problem."_ _Hurt trickled from Starsky's voice as Hutch tucked his shirt in and stood fumbling with his jacket by the bedroom._

" _Starsky, I meant it!" His voice was sincere, but Starsky raised his left hand._

 _"_ _Sure you did!" He turned to leave when Hutch walked to him briskly and placed his hand on him._

 _"_ _Starsk! Hey! Hey! Hold on, come on!"_

 _Starsky attempted to walk away, swatted his partner's hand to the side, followed by a punch to Hutch's mid section before slamming him into the wall. Hutch responded by pushing and slamming his partner into the opposite wall._

Hutch put his hands to his face and rubbed the visions away, he stood there and blinked and took a deep breath.

Three weeks and four days ago what was once the dynamic duo of Starsky & Hutch became a high wire act of a partnership and friendship dangling on a guide wire. The partners had had their share of ups and downs over several months starting with Lionel an informant friend of Huggy's being killed under their watch. This set a spiral of events including the two quitting. They were reinstated and although that made Starsky happy, it left Hutch in a spiral of self destruction that had been building for some time now. Hutch was feeling the filth of the streets; working by the book was nonexistent, protocol stunk. He knew he was walking down a path of darkness and it didn't matter who or what got in his way.

Hutch's normal routine of running and health food fell to the wayside and he grew his hair longer along with a mustache. Along the way he acquired an 'I don't give a fuck attitude' to which his partner was subjected to. The me and thee philosophy seemed to trickle like liquid through their fingers with neither one able to solidify it and it came down to me without thee.

Hutch was disgusted with the system, the killing, and being the target, but most of all inwardly it was the fear of 'what if I lose Starsky, do I have what it takes to protect him?' He questioned his abilities. Perhaps subconsciously he was pushing the man most dear to him away.

Kira was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. She was assigned to an undercover case with the boys at The Golden Lady dance hall. Starsky had been actively dating Kira for several weeks and felt there was a connection, but Kira thought otherwise and launched her claws into Hutch. They were blinded to her theory of free love, live for the moment; she was definitely not June Cleaver material.

The case took a toll on both men and their relationship. Hutch in his mindset of self-loathing and depression made decisions based on anger when confronted by his partner regarding his ethics or lack thereof in the handling the case and Kira. It was not unusual for them to have dated the same woman or competed in a playful way, but when Starsky made it clear he loved Kira, it left Hutch with questions and a stale uneasiness. In the past a declaration as such would have meant the understanding of 'hands off'. Had this come down to the best man wins?

This lead to Starsky vs Hutch, although the case was solved when evidence pointed to a patron of the dance hall, Joey Webster, who served in Nam. In his delusion, he believed he was on a mission to murder blond women spies. This resulted in a confrontation with Kira pulling a gun on Joey. She managed to get away from Joey and the grenade he held. Hutch and Starsky confronted the mentally challenged man. Joey pulled the pin on the grenade at the same time Hutch managed to project it into the air, Starsky caught the flying grenade with his quick cat-like reflexes and tossed it to the back of the dance hall.

Starsky used his body as a human shield to cover Kira; Hutch slammed Joey to the dance hall floor as the explosion distributed debris everywhere. Starsky sat up along with Hutch, their eyes briefly met; Kira crawled her way to Joey to comfort the man experiencing a mental melt down. Two sets of blue on blue simply glanced, the once need to comfort now nonexistent. Starsky was locked in a world of hurt and betrayal, Hutch locked in a world of 'what have I done'?

In agreement, the two men confronted Kira at The Pits one evening and both agreed they were through with her. They departed the bar arm over arm with smiles on their faces and left the beautiful blonde speechless.

Once outside, Starsky removed his arm quickly and retrieved his keys and walked away from Hutch who stood with his arm still out and mouth open.

Hutch dropped his arm. "Starsky where are you going?"

Starsky stopped at the driver door of his car and bowed his head. "Home." He unlocked his door slowly.

Hutch put his hands up, eyes widened.

"Thought we were going to talk?" His face tense with need to resolve.

Starsky looked at him as his eyes displayed blue pools of hurt and evasion.

"I just need some time, Hutch." With no smile, or expression, he looked away and entered his car, the engine coming to life spewing a trail of smoke from the tires as he left. Hutch stood with one hand on his hip, the other in the air in shock; he sighed and bowed his head.

The following day Starsky had gone to Joey's apartment to assist in the inventory of the mentally disturbed man's arsenal trap. Starsky was not on duty, but volunteered his time as he felt guilt and compassion for the man who returned from war and had lost all sense of reality.

Starsky felt the Pandora's Box named Vietnam attempting to pry itself open within him and he couldn't allow this. He examined each article, picture and weapon and wondered how many others out there are suffering like Joey. The thoughts plagued his mind, 'am I a ticking time bomb too'?

That afternoon Starsky entered Captain Dobey's office, knocking gently and entered holding a file folder and paperwork.

"I thought you and your partner had the day off?" The Captain shifted in his chair and awaited a response.

"Well, he did, I wanted to put some closure on this case." His tone softer, quieter than usual. He extended a file folder.

The Captain retrieved it and reviewed its contents and sat back. He shook his head.

"Tortured soul, he had enough in that apartment to blow the entire block." He continued to look; he noticed pictures of women brutally tortured, along with miscellaneous war pictures of gruesome nature.

"This is unfortunate that this man returned this way, left to deal on his own!" He placed the folder on the desk and looked at his detective and noticed the usual form of confidence not present.

Starsky played with a folded white piece of paper, his head slightly tilted with a faraway look.

"Nam will do that to ya." Head still tilted, he sat on the arm of the chair and sighed heavily.

The Captain sensed something wasn't right as he leaned forward in his chair, placing his hands on the desk.

"Starsky, you obviously got something on your mind, spill it." His eyes focused on his deflated detective. Starsky shrugged his shoulder and looked up at his superior.

"I do Cap'n…that tortured soul could have been me, could still be me." He stood and handed his superior a piece of paper then cleared his throat. The captain unfolded the piece of paper, he hesitated before speaking.

"What's the meaning of this?" His eyes widened.

Starsky looked at him and back down to some spot located on the desk in front of him.

"I…huh…I need some time; I just can't work with Hutch or anyone right now." An edge of pain twinged in his features. The silence filled the room for what felt like an eternity. Dobey sat back and raised his eyebrows.

"This personal matter with Kira needs to remain outside of work, Starsky!" His eyes directed at his detective. Starsky rubbed his forehead and put his arms up, expressing disheartenment.

"Kira was strike three. Hutch and me we haven't been a team for a while. Before someone gets hurt, I'm slamming the brakes. This case has stirred some skeletons in my closet." He stood and went to the water bubbler. The Captain rubbed his face and sighed.

"I don't know, I just don't know, son." He carefully examined the paper and looked at the figure before him, who for the first time appeared to him as a child lost.

Starsky drank the water, crumpled the paper cup and tossed it into the trash, then sat on the arm of the chair again.

"We both need this Cap'n." He crossed his arms, sighing heavily. Captain Dobey picked up the paper and looking at Starsky, took a deep breath.

"Take the time you need… Dave, I'm here if you need me. I am to assume that Hutchinson doesn't know about this?" The large man raised his eyebrow inquisitively. Starsky gave his superior a lopsided grin, but his eyes bared sadness.

"No, he doesn't, thanks Cap." The sound of his leather jacket echoed as he shifted and walked out, his gate slow and slumped.

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Hutch returned to work a few days later, he had given Starsky the space he needed. He entered the squad room, everyone busy at their tasks. Hutch looked around for the dark curly-haired man he called a partner, but he was nowhere to be found. The empty space across from his desk was uncharacteristically organized, sending a chill down his spine.

Hutch looked around once again and walked over to the Captain's office door, knocked and entered. Captain Dobey glanced at him as he hung up the phone.

"Hutchinson!" The Captain sat back and adjusted his jacket. Hutch walked in and sat, his gut was telling him something was wrong as he looked directly into his Captain's dark brown eyes.

"Mornin' Captain, where's Starsky?" His eyes wide, the question lingered.

Dobey rubbed his face and reached for the folded paper on his desk and extended it to Hutch. Hutch leaned forward and retrieved it. His expression went stone cold as his jaw tightened. He folded the paper and placed it on the desk as he ran his right hand through his hair.

"D-d-did he-he say how long? Why?" The wavering eyes of dejection met his Captain. The presence of a nerve struck displayed with a stutter.

Dobey pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the small amount of perspiration from his forehead.

"He didn't say how long. He did however say he needed some time; he just can't work with you or anyone right now. Kira was strike three. The two of you haven't been a team for a while, before someone gets hurt, he's slamming the brakes. This case stirred some skeletons in his closet, something about Joey could have been him, and could still be him." The words spoken compassionately, he bowed his head mournfully.

Hutch swallowed hard, closed his eyes and reached up and rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"That never even crossed my mind, dammit!" Slamming his fist on the arm of the chair as his eyes rose to meet his Captain.

"While I was on my path of deliberate self-destruction, I forgot the one person that mattered most to me, all for someone who didn't give a fuck about either one of us." His fist hit the arm of the chair again, the words crisp with guilt. The Captain sat back and looked at Hutch, he bit his lip.

"Do you want some time off Hutch?" The Captain took a deep breath; his words were soft in tone with sympathy.

Hutch rubbed his fingers on his lips and stood up abruptly.

"No, thanks Captain, all I want is my partner back." He paced, snapping his fingers.

"I've been nothing but a self-righteous bastard and he took it, didn't complain just stood by my side while I pushed every button." He stopped in front of the Captain's desk, his teeth gritted together.

"What kind of partner and friend does that make me? Not a good one; I betrayed his trust." The thud of landing in the leather chair escaped into the room, he sat back and rubbed his thumb and finger over his forehead. The Captain sighed and adjusted himself and smiled.

"Welcome back, Hutch! It's been a long time!" The smile evident from his voice as he gazed his dark brown eyes on the blond man before him. Hutch startled, set back by the comment and took a deep breath.

"What?" He sat up. Dobey leaned onto his desk.

"It's about time you got your head out of your ass. I wish every day I could get my partner back. It's the nature of this type of work, sometimes it depletes you, drains you. You're back, don't blow it. I suggest you reevaluate yourself and what your job and partnership means. Most of all Hutch don't let yourself throw away a good thing. The two of you are the bane of my existence, but the best detective team I got. You hear me?" He slammed his large hand on the desk. He stood and fixed his jacket.

"You will be assigned a temporary partner until you've located that stubborn jackass partner of yours, do you understand? I don't want any lip on this!" His voice elevated and eyes bulged. Hutch stood with a vacuous expression and headed for the door. Hutch knew that the Captain in his hard-nosed deliverance was just as concerned.

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Three weeks and four days Hutch searched for his partner and now he stood leaning against his car working with a rookie detective. Hutch was brought back to the current and noticed Bailey leading the suspect to a black and white. Hutch shook his head and chuckled.

"Starsky you will never be." He shook his head, turned to get into his car. Bailey made his way to the passenger side and slid onto the seat as though it would fall apart. Hutch started the car and drove away. Bailey nervously looked out the window and glanced over to Hutch.

"I screwed up; I should have established my position. I'm sorry, Hutch!" The young rookie fidgeted with the zipper of his jacket.

Hutch drove his expression blank. He glanced over raising one eyebrow.

"You don't get a second chance Bailey. Your partner is your shadow, don't let it happen again." The tone was soft but the words precise and specific; the young detective felt the words cut like a knife. He didn't know the story behind the words, but they made an impact. Bailey looked out the window again.

Hutch and Bailey returned to the precinct and completed the necessary paperwork. Hutch found himself staring at the empty desk across from him as his partner's voice echoed ( _you're the best friend I got in the whole world)_ , he sighed.

"I won't let go." Merely a whisper from his lips. He stood and walked out swiftly, leaving Bailey sitting behind him in a pile of paperwork and confusion.

"I won't let go?" He repeated the words spoken from his temporary partner, scratched the side of his face and looked at the double doors closing, Hutch no longer in sight.

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It was early evening and Hutch didn't want to go home so he drove to the next best place, The Pits. Hutch parked in the back alley behind Huggy's and entered the back door. The bar, dimly lit, the air thick with smoke. The chatter of patrons lingered. Huggy placed drinks down onto a table near the bar when he noticed Hutch.

"To what do I owe the honor of your presence oh blond one?" He crossed his arms, and raised an eyebrow.

Huggy was dressed in red bell bottom pants, vibrant red and purple shirt. Hutch smiled and sat on the bar stool as Huggy made his way around the bar and placed a beer, he poured from the tap in front of the gloomy looking blond. Hutch's smile was short lived; it melted away like an ice cream cone on a hot day.

"Hey Hug!" He glanced with inconsolable eyes. Huggy recognized the solemn demeanor bowed his head and looked up slightly.

"I haven't heard from him, that's the god's honest truth!" Huggy raised his hands as though he were surrendering, Hutch sipped his beer as his eyes lowered and nodded, he played with the glass of beer running his finger up and down in the dew dripping on the sides.

"I won't let go." Muttering the same words from before, sheer turmoil glazed his eye.

"I pushed and pushed, I've lost Starsky." He sighed heavily, and looked at the worried bartender. Huggy pulled a shot glass and filled it with whiskey and slid it over to Hutch.

"You ain't lost him Blondie, just misplaced 'em." He sighed and leaned onto the bar.

"You are the jig and curly's the saw; no puzzle complete without them." The words spoken like a true master, Huggy smirked. Hutch grinned and took the shot glass and chugged it scrunching his face.

Hutch took a deep breath. "You have a way with words, Hug!" He played with his glass of beer again, as though allowing his emotions to gather the chill within the glass.

"What's a best friend, Hug?" He glanced up at Huggy, pursed his lips and shook his head.

"The answer is Starsky!" The blue eyes glared with sadness as he responded to his own question that weighed heavy in his heart. He reached for some peanuts in a dish next to the glass and grabbed a handful and tossed them in his mouth then looked back at Huggy as he chewed.

"Three weeks and four days since he left and I have no idea where he is or if he's coming back." He grabbed more peanuts, shuffling them in his hand.

"I need to fix this, Hug. This me and thee, high wire act, he was holding out his hand. I just refused to take it, grasp it." He moved his hand filled with peanuts, tightening his grip.

Huggy grabbed the nearest towel and wiped the counter, he chuckled.

"There's a safety net below, you're human. That stubborn partner of yours will be back, you'll see my man, you'll see! The dark cloud has been lifted, good to have you back, Amigo!" He looked at Hutch and smiled.

Huggy walked out back and returned with a salad and cheese sandwich and placed it in front of the deflated blond friend.

"Here's something for the soul, brother; you're gonna need your strength." He leaned on the bar, smiled, winked and walked away. Hutch nodded and accepted the food and began eating. He grabbed a few napkins and retrieved a pen from his pocket and began to write:

 _It's like a storm, That cuts a path, It breaks your will, It feels like that, You think you're lost, But you're not lost, on your own, you're not alone. I will stand by you. I will help you through, When you've done all you can do, If you can't cope, I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight, I will hold you tight, And_ _ **I won't let go…**_ _  
_ _  
_He looked at it as he took a bite of his sandwich, folded the napkins and put it in his pocket.

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Hutch absently found himself driving in Starsky's neighborhood for the hundredth time over the last few weeks and his heart almost stopped when he saw the Torino parked in front of the garage. Hutch pulled in beside it and exited quickly; he touched the hood and noticed it was cool. He looked up to see a dim light from the living room window and stepped forward and felt something under his shoe. He bent over and retrieved a black leather glove which reeked of alcohol. Hutch held it, pausing, then walked up the stairway, feeling as though his heart would pound out of his chest at any moment.

He stood there and knocked the famous Hutchinson knock, knocked once again and then turned the knob to find it unlocked. He pushed the door open and entered to the smell of leather and alcohol. In the kitchen stood his partner in black leather chaps and boots, black Harley T-shirt and at least a weeks old scruff on his face. Starsky looked like something out of a biker magazine with his arms crossed, with no expression he simply stared at Hutch. Hutch closed the door and walked in waving the glove.

"Found this outside!" His shoulder tense, half smile painted; he placed the glove on the table.

Starsky shifted his weight from one leg to the other, stern stare, pursed lips, he blinked several times.

"Thanks, what do you want Hutch?" The question was direct, a slight edge of irritation trickled through the words.

Hutch's brief smile faded as he searched for the right words, he rubbed his hands together.

"World peace, but I'd settle for that long overdue talk." He leaned against the couch. Starsky raised one hand and rubbed his chin and sighed.

"Months of walking away now you want to talk." The awaited response, snide. He dropped his hand and walked toward Hutch, the sound of the leather chaps distracting Hutch. Starsky spun and retrieved two beers from the refrigerator and handed one to Hutch, both simultaneously twisted their caps. Starsky walked pass Hutch and over to the peacock chair near the bookcase and sat.

"So talk." His eyes met his nervous blond partner's.

Hutch sipped his beer and took a deep breath, the visible crease on his forehead prominent.

"What's with the leather chaps?" Tilting his blond head. Starsky grinned and looked at him.

"Bought a bike, it's the garage." His tone different, almost cold. Hutch looked at the beer bottle, then back, raising his eyebrow.

"You bought a bike?" The question poised in the formed crease on his forehead. Starsky looked at him as his expression changed a veil of impatience.

"Is that what you wanna talk about? Didn't question you when you grew the mustache and long hair and slipped into the Mr. Asshole costume." The peacock chair crackled beneath the leather chaps as he shifted with his response. Hutch cleared his throat and took a sip of beer.

"Guess I deserved that and more." He raised his left hand to scratch his head and glanced over to his partner. Starsky took a long swig of his beer, sighed.

"Cold hearted son-of-a-bitch facade partner!" Starsky raised his beer and winked. The words struck Hutch deeply.

Hutch felt himself crumble inside and fear invades him. The man sitting across from him was different and edgy, slightly cold hearted. Hutch walked over closer to Starsky and sat on the arm of the couch.

"I came to apologize Starsk. I kept pushing and pushing and I betrayed you. I really think I wanted you to hate me as much as I hated myself." He placed the beer bottle over onto the coffee table, he reached over to brush Starsky's knee with his hand, a common form of acceptance or comfort. Starsky stood abruptly and walked away toward the window and slugged his beer down on the window sill.

"Yeah, okay, so you're sorry, you said your apology, Hutch; we talked. Thinking its best ya finish your beer and left." The words sharp, spoken with annoyance. Hutch turned slightly with a stunned expression, sat rubbing his face.

"Starsky?" Calling his partner's name as he'd done so many times. Starsky spun around, eyes narrowed.

"Look you apologized, I accept it, end of story." His tone sharp and to the point.

"How can you accept it? What, end of story?" Hutch questioned, stood and placed his hands into his pockets and bit his lip in anticipation of the response. Starsky put his hands to his face and sighed.

"How can I not, the conversation's over." He furiously turned to face Hutch.

"I asked you to leave Hutch, let it go!" Eyes wide, his hands raised up in exasperation.

Hutch walked closer, raised his right hand with finger pointing.

"I won't let go!" The hand trembled and eyes determined and focused.

Starsky flung the beer bottle across the room, hitting the counter and exploding, his eyes filled with fury as he inched closer to Hutch's finger.

"I slammed ya, punched ya and for what Hutch? A woman who didn't give a crap about either one of us. Hell, we've played her game. I thought I loved her, ah hell the truth is don't think I'll ever really love again like…like Terry. Damn, maybe you did me a favor. Were ya testing me partner? Did ya wanna see how far ya could push me or push us?" He extended his left hand out, flung it upward and swung as though hitting something then took a deep breath.

"You're not alone in the blame, I shoulda pushed ya back. Instead of, ah hell you were doing that inside your head thing, beating yourself up, ya always bounced back before. I saw ya getting into that blond head of yours, going deeper and deeper growing darker and meaner. Heck, we were both doing it." Starsky put his left hand to his face, scratched the dark stubble, he tightened his lips, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"The problem is, we thought ourselves unbreakable, invincible. Well, I guess we were wrong; talk about twisted logic. Somewhere along the line, Hutch, we forgot who Dave Starsky and Ken Hutchinson were. We threw away me and thee and it became me." The anger melted with each word, and hurt made a landslide appearance.

Hutch's hand dropped, never had his partner spoken to him with such hurt. Hutch ran his hand through his hair and reached out to his partner, Starsky backed away and turned to the window. Hutch rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. His features burdened with the inner turmoil of the truth.

"She was the match that ignited what was already smoldering, Starsk; she told me she loved us both. I never set out to hurt you, or us. You got to believe that?" He looked up at his partner's back.

Hutch began to pace, he rubbed his fingers over his mustache.

"I'm done walking away, I haven't been there for you or us for a long time. I'm back, Starsky, I'm back!" He grabbed the back of his neck with both hands; he smacked his lips together and sighed heavily.

"I'm scared that you are going to die one day when I fail to protect you!" He looked up briefly; his fingers squeezed the back of his neck.

"It's no excuse; I have wronged you, betrayed your trust and taken the truth away from our huh, from you and me, our partnership. My life without you in it has worn thin real quick, I don't want to be on the outside anymore." The trickle of pent up emotions flavored his tone with vulnerability.

Starsky put his hands to his face, ran his hands down his face slowly, inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth.

"I can't do this right now Hutch, just go! Let it go!" The sound of leather crinkling, his voice softer as he walked away toward the kitchen, a slow swagger.

A picture of inner defeat and pulsating emotions, Hutch grabbed Starsky's arm and spun him around placing both hands on his partner's shoulders, grasping firmly, and focusing blue on blue searching for answers, the spark of communicating without words.

"Have I lost you, Starsk?" The fear laced his voice as it trembled, his mouth open and eyebrows arched in question as the blue orbs pleaded.

Starsky reached up and removed Hutch's hands gently. His eyes looked away, mouth closed, lips tight. He walked into the kitchen, the sound of the glass from the broken beer bottle crunched under his boots. He stood in the kitchen, his back to Hutch as he bowed his head.

"We don't hurt each other like that Hutch, and act like nothing happened." He turned to face his partner.

"Let it go!" Starsky's voice softer and more heartfelt, he cleared his throat.

Hutch put his hands to his face and took a deep breath, his chin quivered as he bowed his head, his voice loud, not angry.

"I won't let go!" The tall frame leaped into action, the sound of footsteps, and the door slamming. Starsky startled. He crossed his arms as a single tear rolled down his left cheek; he blinked his eyes, his shoulders tensed.

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The following morning, Starsky back in his blue jeans and light blue V-neck with five a o'clock shadow swept the glass on the kitchen floor. He finished cleaning his place when a knock startled him from the door. Starsky went over and opened the door, Bailey stood shoulders stiff as though in a military line-up. The young baby-faced green-eyed man who smiled and extended his hand out.

"Detective Starsky, my name is Detective Devon Bailey; may I have a word with you?" The words, although polite, were spoken almost robotically.

Starsky shook his hand and motioned him in. Bailey looked around and stopped near the couch.

"Nice place, sir." Fidgeting, his eyes caught a picture of Starsky and Hutch arm over arm in front of the beloved Torino.

Starsky pointed to the table and pulled a chair out for Bailey as he sat across from him in his usual fashion of straddling the chair, he placed his arms over the back in a crossed fashion.

"Call me Starsky, what can I do for you Bailey?" The young man smiled and cleared his throat as his face formed a more professional demeanor.

"This isn't any of my business and I don't know what transpired between you and Detective Hutchinson, I mean Hutch. All I know is he is a great temporary partner and I'm definitely not you, not by a long shot! I really screwed things up the other day, didn't state my position and almost got him killed. Oh boy was he mad!" He paused to take in the dark man's reaction. "He never put it in the report?" He looked at Starsky, as though he had the answer.

Starsky bowed his head, raised his eyes to meet Bailey. He looked at Starsky again, his voice a little louder.

"He's drowning in grief if that makes any sense, like he's lost his best friend; I can tell you mean the world to him, there I've said it. I overheard him speaking to Captain Dobey this morning about you returning home." Starsky smirked and scratched the side of his face.

"Bailey, I appreciate you sticking up for your temporary partner. He's the best there is, don't get him shot or you'll be answering to me!" The words shuddered down Bailey's spine, Starsky stood and escorted the man to the door and paused.

"You got people skills and spunk, you a shrink kid?" As he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Hutch is, let's just say, there's no one else I would trust with my life. We're goin through a rough patch." He smiled and opened the door. Bailey smiled and reached his hand out to Starsky.

"Thank you." He turned and left, Starsky with his right hand on the door knob, smirked and pushed the door shut.

Back at Bay City PD Hutch sat at his desk, staring at a file that has been in front of him now for over an hour. Hutch pulled the napkin from The Pits and began to write again:

 _It hurts my heart, To see you cry, I know it's dark, This part of life, Oh, it finds us all, And we're too small, To stop the rain, but when it rains, I will stand by you, I will help you through, When you've done all you can do, And you can't cope, I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight  
I will hold you tight._

He startled when his phone rang and placed the napkin back in his pocket. He retrieved the handset and placed it over his ear.

"Detective Hutchinson." Glancing around the room.

At the other end of the phone sat Daniel Travis an old army buddy of Starsky's.

"Major Travis here Detective!" He smiled.

Hutch smiled. "Trav, how are you?"

Trav sat back in his dark black leather chair, as it creaked.

"Well, I'm not on the receiving end of one pissed off Curly." He chuckled lightly, and rocked the creaky black leather chair.

"Yeah!" He rubbed his forehead, his response breathy. "You talked to Starsky?" He closed his eyes, the stress came through his words. Trav sat up and leaned on his desk.

"Yeah, I saw and talked to Curly, he'd been drinking and crashed at my place, not like him." He played with a pen on his desk. Hutch sighed.

"I screwed up big time, Trav." As he continued to rub his forehead with his left hand.

A moment of silence as Trav sat back.

"No judgment here Hutch, he's hurt, but you are his world and that hasn't changed. This last case with the one-man arsenal brought back some ghosts, we talked. I called to check on you." Trav looked around his office, sighed. "Where's your head at?"

Hutch looked up as though he was stunned. "On my shoulders and as Starsk would say I'm not in my 'blond head' anymore. Trav, I need to make this right." His voice softened and he sighed. Trav stood, scratching his chest, deep in thought as he absorbed the blond man's grief.

"Give it time Hutch; don't back down, you hear me? I'm a phone call away if you need to knock some sense into that thick head of curls. Take care." Hutch smiled.

"You too, thanks Trav." He paused, smiled faintly as he hung the receiver in the cradle of the phone. Hutch put his hands to his face and turned to see Starsky standing across from him wearing his leather gear, with a grin.

"Mornin'!" He turned to knock on Dobey's door and entered. The double doors to the office opened with Minnie rushing through and directly to Hutch. Minnie a computer expert, and usually poised and professional seemed flustered.

"Damn, be still my heart. He's back, never figured him for a biker, I like it!" She winked at Hutch and handed him a stack of folders. Hutch took them almost dropping them and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, great thanks Minnie!" Hutch turned to notice several female officers standing outside the door. Minnie fluffed her hair, waving her hands ushering them away, Hutch shook his head.

Captain Dobey's door opened, Hutch startled as the large man entered the room and cleared his throat.

"Hutchinson in my office!" A trail of crusty gruffness in his voice.

Hutch paused as every fiber of his body felt paralyzed; he took a deep breath and headed in. Sitting in his usual spot was his partner who glanced at him briefly. Hutch sat in the chair next to him as the Captain made his way to his chair and glanced equally at both men. The Captain sat back.

"Let's cut to the chase, Starsky are you back?" He barked his question as he shifted in his squeaky chair. Starsky played with his leather gloves.

"I'm back." The words almost a whisper.

The Captain leaned forward. "Was that a yes?"

Starsky looked up and smirked. "Yes!"

Hutch glanced over to his partner and formed a partial faint smile. Dobey sat back and looked at both men.

"Have we kissed and made up?" Starsky put his hands over his eyes and rubbed them.

"No, we haven't kissed and made up. But we are cops and professionals, issues aside, I'm here to do my job." Not looking in his blond partner's direction, he shifted in his seat. Captain Dobey's face cringed.

"Hutch what are your thoughts on this?" The white handkerchief pulled from his pocket, the Captain dabbed his brow. Hutch felt his stomach turn and a mild headache forming as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"As Starsky stated Captain." He didn't want to make eye contact with his brunet partner.

The Captain grunted and shook his head and pointed at both men with a fierce glare.

"My job is not to play referee, do you hear me? While you are on duty you are to conduct yourselves as professionals, check your differences at the door!" He stood and slammed his fist, the fiery glare directed at both men.

"Bailey will be your shadow for a few more days until I can re-assign him." Hutch stood and pointed his finger, eyes wide.

"Now wait just a minute Cap'n, I've had enough babysitting." His voice loud. Starsky stood and played with his gloves, he remained calm, almost nonchalant.

"Let the kid tag along, from what I hear he appreciates his temporary partner's loyalty." A smirk appeared as he turned to walk out. Hutch's face blushed as he turned and followed Starsky out.

Bailey stood by Hutch's desk with files in hand as Starsky headed for the double doors. Hutch stopped by Starsky's desk.

"Starsk, where you are going?" He raised his hands up. Starsky turned and winked.

"Can't go out lookin like this, meet ya outside." He continued out the door, the sound of leather crinkled.

Hutch watched as the same group of female officers followed Starsky, everyone in the squad room shook their heads. Bailey looked at Hutch.

"What's going on Hutch?"

Hutch put his hands up, sighed. "Marlboro man is making us a threesome Bailey; come on maybe he'll let you borrow his leather chaps and give you some tips on perfecting a five 'o'clock shadow!" Bailey looked at Hutch confused as everyone chuckled.

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Starsky placed his leather gear into the leather satchel of his black and chrome Harley. Hutch approached and circled the bike and whistled in amazement.

"She's a beauty, Starsk." His long fingers touched the chrome as he saw his own refection crystal clear. Hutch stood and looked at his partner.

"Starsky this is Devon Bailey, Bailey, David Starsky." Bailey bowed his head and extended his hand. Starsky smiled and shook his hand.

"Call me Starsky!" He winked.

Hutch entered his heap with Bailey sitting in the back seat and Starsky shotgun. Hutch didn't know why he was so nervous; he worked with Starsky for going on nine years. Starsky was feeling the same way, but refused to show it.

Bailey sat in the back seat completely mesmerized with the two detectives as to him, they were legends.

"I can't believe I am working with the two of you!" He blushed, as the excitement cause his voice to crack.

"How did the two of you meet?" Hutch glanced in the rear view mirror.

"We met at the academy." Starsky responded, and smirked then glanced toward Hutch and back away. Bailey leaned forward.

"So you became partners?" The question innocent, but inquisitive.

Hutch sighed, took his cue. "No, we became friends, we worked separate precincts, and then we were partnered." His hand fidgeted on the steering wheel.

Bailey sat back and thought for a moment.

"What made you want to be partners?" As his eyes sparkled.

Starsky slightly turned his head.

"Are ya writing a book kid?" The New York accent trailed, he cleared his throat.

"We think and operate as one, opposites attract. Besides, if ya can't trust your best friend to watch your back ya can't trust anyone!" The words slipped past the slight grin of intention. Hutch felt the sledge hammer hit his heart, as Bailey sat knowing he succeeded in sparking something between the two estranged partners; he just hoped it would patch things up. Hutch finally gathered his thoughts and calmed his nerves.

"Bailey and I have been working on a string of robberies; they're hitting convenience stores and liquor stores." His grip tightened on the steering wheel. Starsky leaned his elbow on the door with his head propped.

"Any leads?" The sun bright he squinted, glanced over toward Hutch. Bailey, taking his cue pulled his notepad and leaned forward.

"Two white males, both tall, ski masks. They were spotted leaving the scene in a Ford sedan, dark blue. The robberies are within 24 to 48 hours of the previous one." He sat back and smiled.

Starsky rubbed his cheek. "That leaves out short, fat, and female!"

Hutch chuckled.

"We have one store owner dead and total of 5 robberies." The car stopped at a light, Hutch glanced over to Starsky, both eyes meeting. Starsky sighed.

"Fast money, you think it's for a score, at one twenty to two a pop?" He raised his eyebrows inquisitively at Hutch who acknowledge and resumed driving, turning the corner from the light.

"Pattern fits." He glanced at Starsky again. Bailey wrote on his notepad tilted his head sideways.

"You think that these robberies are within 24 to 48 hours in order to replenish their drug supplies?" He leaned forward to get a response from his mentors. Starsky scratched his head.

"You catch on quick kid!" Starsky scratched his head again. Hutch shook his head and felt a sense of ease that he hadn't felt in a long time.

The radio soon came to life. "211 in progress at 4445 Wilson." Starsky reached for the microphone.

"This is Zebra 3 eta 3 minutes, over." He placed the microphone back on the holder.

"Roger, Zebra 3, Baker 4 and Baker 7 are responding eta 7 minutes." Starsky reached for the mars light and placed it on the roof of the Galaxie as Hutch increased his speed, but no siren.

Hutch made the turn around the corner and screeched to a halt as Starsky retrieved his gun with a radio from the glove compartment and glanced at Hutch and bolted. Hutch moved the car closer, and exited the car along with Bailey both guns in hand, Hutch held the second radio. Starsky made his way over to the back of the building and found a back entrance and quietly opened the door and entered. He placed his gun in front as he crept along a dark hallway into the liquor store; he could hear someone shouting and lowered himself to the back of the counter and crouched.

Hutch held the radio and waited by the car.

"Blond Blintz this is the Puce Goose we have two masked avengers, three hostages. I'm at the back counter." Hutch signaled and motioned for Bailey to follow him as they made their way to the storefront, Bailey went to the right and Hutch went to the left.

Hutch glanced inside to see the gray ski masked robber with gun drawn at the hostages, the other heading to the back counter. The man heading to the counter with the black and red ski mask shot at the cash register and reached over when Starsky pointed his gun and grabbed his arm.

"Police freeze!" As he tugged on the man's arm, they began to struggle. Starsky sat back, pulling the man almost over the counter. The gray masked man was distracted when Hutch rushed in and announced himself.

"Police put your weapon down, NOW!" As he held the large gun in front of him. The gray masked man spun around to shoot Hutch when Bailey raced in.

"Police!" With his weapon drawn, he quickly assessed the situation and shot the gray masked man in the left shoulder.

Starsky struggled with the man in the back who still had his gun, attempting to aim it at him. Hutch signaled Bailey to attend to the man he shot as he raced to the back and grabbed the black masked man and knocked the weapon from his hand. Starsky pulled himself up gasping for air and holstered his gun and reached to pull the ski mask off.

The man was dark haired and pale, his eyes darkened looking at Starsky.

"I'll be out in twenty four hours copper and you'll be the first I look for!" The man's face twitched as he laughed.

Hutch yanked on the man's arm and pulled him away from his partner's space.

"Assume the position, come on!" He began the pat down. Starsky shrugged his shoulders and reached and grabbed the man's shirt.

"Detective David Starsky, name the time and place." His eyes narrowed and darkened, he released the man's shirt and walked away. Hutch noticed the darkness in his partner's eyes as he continued. The other units had arrived to assist. Bailey had secured the other man and read him his Miranda rights as Starsky walked by him.

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In an interrogation room the black masked man sat with his hands shaking and perspiring heavily as Hutch paced the room.

"From the beginning who shot the store owner?" He snapped his finger and turned to look at the man. Starsky entered the room, Bailey observed in the adjoining room behind the mirror. Starsky had two candy bars in his hand and tossed one to Hutch as he ripped open his and bit into it. The man began to tremble again.

"Don't know what you are talking about, I want my lawyer?" He shivered, his eyes piercing toward Starsky.

Starsky pulled the chair and spun it around and straddled it invading the man's space and chewed his candy bar, loudly and annoyingly.

"My partner asked you a question Lipowitz, who shot the store owner?" Taking another bite with his eyes fully focused.

The man watched and rubbed his face as it twitched.

"Fuck off! I know who you are!" He lunged his face forward and spit at Starsky, missing his target by inches. Starsky reached to grab the man by the shirt; Hutch spun and touched Starsky's shoulder gently.

"Easy buddy!" His eyes met his excited, angry partner, a gentle touch and smiled calmed him.

Starsky shoved the man back as he hit the wall with the chair. Hutch now invaded the man's space.

"My highly excitable partner here isn't in the mood for your games Lipowitz, I'm feelin the need to use the facilities which will leave my partner here alone with you to finish the conversation." Hutch slowly backed up and headed for the door.

Starsky leaned against the wall with his eyes burning with fury at the suspect. Lipowitz looked at Hutch and back to Starsky.

"He's a loose cannon, they all are comin back from Nam. You ain't gonna leave me with the Major are you?" The man's hands trembled out of control as he touched the empty candy wrapper.

"Major?" Hutch looked at him, his forehead wrinkled as questions darted his mind.

"Major Starsky, Larry Lipowitz! The name familiar? Should be since you made it out and he didn't!" The man growled, swallowing the saliva that filled his mouth.

Starsky's eyes intensified with ice blue orbs and grew dark once again as he approached the man and leaned onto the table.

"Best marksman in my infantry. You must be his kid brother; the way I heard it you was a two bit punk. Spill it!" He slammed his fist into the table. The man flinched and looked at Hutch who grabbed the door handle to leave.

"Okay…Okay, I shot him, I shot him! He's crazy. Get him the fuck away from me, murderous bastard." The man shook and swung his arms, the cuffs chiming.

Starsky turned his head with the look of a caged animal and walked out the door past Hutch. Hutch stepped aside and bowed his head and tossed the candy bar to Lipowitz.

"Try not to choke on it, creates a lot of paperwork." He scowled, and left the room slamming the door.

Bailey met Hutch in the hallway with notepad in hand. He was star struck and amazed.

"I have never seen anything like that. Starsky was intense, the chemistry and timing between you two. The good cop and bad cop routine, it's amazing. I took psychology and did a case study on intimidation, fascinating." He couldn't remove his eyes off of Hutch, who looked up and down the hallway for his partner.

"Did you see which way Starsky went?" He ran his hand through his hair.

Bailey looked at Hutch, wide eyed.

"Was he really a major in the army? I would love to speak to him about that." Hutch lost his cool.

"Bailey which way did Starsky go?" His eyes widened and demanded an answer. Bailey stepped back and pointed toward the elevator. Hutch took a deep breath.

"Sorry, listen book Lipowitz and have the report on my desk by morning, oh, good job today!" Before Bailey could respond, Hutch headed to the elevator.

Hutch reached the garage to hear Starsky's motorcycle growl to life and leave. Hutch put his hands up and swung his right arm as though punching something.

"Dammit Starsky, you're not alone!" The words spilled with emotion and frustration.

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Hutch drove around for a few hours to see if he could find his partner and struck out everywhere he went. Hutch pulled up outside of The Pits and exited the car when he heard yelling coming from the alley behind and made his way over to see Huggy sitting on Starsky's motorcycle with his arms crossed and looking none too happy.

Starsky stood by the bike with his fists clenched and eyes focused on Huggy, his body and shoulder in action mode.

"Give me the keys Huggy!" His voice trailed the alley loudly. Huggy tightened his arms in front of his chest.

"I told you Starsky, you ain't in any condition to ride this hog home, over my dead body!" Huggy sported a bright yellow shirt, and dark green pants. He glared at Starsky intensely.

Starsky leaned in toward Huggy. "That can be arranged!"

Hutch ran down the alley, stopping abruptly.

"Starsky!" He barked, stopping a few feet away.

"Terrific, if it ain't Benedict Arnold himself!" Starsky turned and put his hands up.

Huggy leaped off the motorcycle and walked over to Hutch slamming the keys to the bike in his hand.

"He's all yours!" His expression displayed anger, he turned to Starsky.

"When ya sober up and lose the attitude pay me a visit, till then ya not welcome!" The thin man walked up the stairs and back into the bar.

Starsky watched him leave. "You're a pariah Huggy, da hell with ya!"

Hutch jumped on the motorcycle.

"She's a beauty Starsk!" He grinned, looking the bike over as the keys dangled in his hand.

Starsky looked at him, his chin rigid.

"Give me my keys!" Extending his left hand.

Hutch tossed the keys in the air and caught them, shook his head.

"I don't think so buddy, Huggy feels you shouldn't be riding, besides you're a cop you'd be setting a bad example." He smirked and winked.

Starsky turned to walk away and came back swinging and decked Hutch on the chin sending him flying off the bike dropping the key. Starsky grabbed the key and pointed at the man dazed rubbing his jaw on the ground.

"Funny comin from the same man who forgot he had a partner and went at it on his own!" His words poisonous as a rattlesnake bite. He jumped on the motorcycle starting it and rode off.

Hutch was dazed and stumbled back to his feet, when Huggy ran out to assist him.

"Has he plum gone mad? You okay?" He assisted Hutch to his feet, who stumbled. Hutch rubbed his jaw and took a deep breath as he staggered.

"How much has he had to drink, Hug?" He looked out toward the opening of the alley, licking his lips. Huggy balanced him and sighed.

"Enough, I took his keys away, he came in here with a chip on his shoulder and only got meaner!" He looked down the alley. Hutch reached for Huggy's arm and squeezed.

"I'll find him, sorry Hug." Hutch rubbed his jaw as he ran out of the alley.

Hutch never found his partner that night, the following day Starsky showed up at the precinct still unshaven wearing sunglasses. Hutch poured a cup of coffee and extended it to him, he walked by, not acknowledging the gesture and went to this desk. Hutch bowed his head.

"Oh, by the way my jaw is fine, thanks." Walking the opposite way to his side of the adjoining desk.

Bailey sat at his desk and observed. Starsky pulled his glasses down slightly and smirked, his eyes blue and pitted red like a Pennsylvania road map.

"That's what you get for sittin on my bike without askin!" Pushing his glasses up again.

Hutch pulled his chair out roughly and raised his hand and pointed his finger at him.

"Don't ever pull a stunt like that again pal!" The sound of his butt hitting the chair filled the air, he kept his eyes focused, swinging his pointed finger away.

Starsky grabbed a pen and signed the paper in the open folder on his desk and looked up at Hutch.

"Or what Detective Hutchinson, ya gonna go all righteous on me and arrest me?" He cocked his head to the side. Hutch stood as the two of them glared at each other, Bailey stood and found himself near Hutch.

"Good Morning Hutch, …Starsky, say we have a problem. Lipowitz and Hently weren't working alone. There was another robbery, same MO red ski mask, at 5th and Maine a, huh a Liquor store, they're holding the scene for us." He waited and watched the anger simmer between the two partners.

"Listen, I learned this in psychology class, assess your opponent and count to ten before saying something that you might regret." He watched both men tentatively in anticipation.

"That's great; maybe one hundred would be more appropriate." Hutch rubbed the back of his neck, his jaw tight.

Starsky straddled his chair backwards.

"Are ya a cop or a shrink? Good job kid, communication between partners is important in a case. Ya teach him that Hutch?" He grinned, pulled his sunglasses down and winked.

Hutch's face reddened as he walked past Bailey through the double doors. Starsky couldn't help himself, all he felt was anger and hurt, as he remembered Hutch holding back information on the dance hall case. Starsky pulled his sunglasses off as he watched the doors and felt a sudden twinge of guilt and looked over at Bailey.

"Doesn't handle compliments so well?" He ran his right hand through his curls, his jaw tightened. Bailey looked at Starsky confused and slightly angry and walked out following Hutch. Starsky stood and tossed the folder in the basket on the file cabinet and headed for the double doors.

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At the liquor store, Hutch walked the interior scoping the damage from the robbery. Bailey interviewed the store owner. Starsky entered from the back of the store looking around and made his way through the aisles when a car backfired, he froze and reached for his gun and went into gun drawn mode as his face blanched. Hutch immediately noticed his partner's actions along with Bailey. Starsky took a deep breath and closed his eyes, placing his gun into the holster and walked out without looking at anyone.

Bailey walked over to Hutch with his note pad as Hutch looked outside, deep in thought.

"Hutch, same MO; the store owner claims the man is 5'7 muscular build and had a slight limp, dark blue sedan. He made out with only seventy five bucks and candy bars, I found this lighter on the floor." He produced the square silver-plated lighter in a baggy.

Hutch refocused his attention onto Bailey.

"He must have bolted when we arrive on the last scene and left his pals behind." He looked at the young detective. Bailey looked around and cleared his throat.

"Starsky about lost it when that car back fired? I did a study of veterans returning from war and sometimes they have flashbacks when something triggers them, they call is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD." The words spoken as though he were a expert on the matter. Hutch crossed his arms and looked back outside.

"Yeah…let's go, Dr. Bailey." His heart heavy and worried, but still trickled sarcasm.

Hutch entered his car with Bailey in the back and Starsky fully focused on anything but the car's occupants. Hutch started the car.

"He's going to hit again, he only made away with seventy five bucks, 5'7 muscular build with a slight limp, sounds like he ditched his pals." He put the car into drive and pulled onto the road. Starsky sighed.

"Goes to show ya, trust em' as far as ya can throw them, I'd go for less than that." He looked out the window, his shoulders rigid. Hutch felt the sting deep in his gut and refused to allow it to get to him. Bailey extended the baggy with the silver object over the seat.

"Found this on the floor." Starsky grabbed it with his right hand and examine it as his hands began to shake; he tossed it back to Bailey. Hutch noticed his partner's unusual behavior, but didn't say anything. Starsky shifted in the seat.

"Army issued, tattooed with initials LL NAM Oh Chi Minh 67-68." He looked back out the window, the words were spoken without emotion, rank and serial number tone. Bailey examined the lighter.

"I don't understand!" Hutch's eyes glare at him in the mirror. Starsky put his arm up on the door and leaned his head onto his hand.

"Lighter's issued; ya mark it to make it yours like a dog tag, some display infantry, crossed guns so on. I've seen this one before LL is Luscious Lipowitz, the punk's brother. Well, we know they're connected." He watched the traffic ahead, his eye widened and pointed.

"Blue sedan!" He pointed. Hutch startled, sprung into action accelerating the LDT.

They followed the car from a safe distance to an abandoned warehouse district. Hutch parked far enough back that the man wouldn't notice them. The man exited the car looking around nervously. Starsky watched intensely.

"Lieutenant Luscious Lipowitz!" He looked over at Hutch as though he had seen a ghost. A conversation took place between Starsky and Hutch as Bailey watched. Starsky removed his gun checking his clip.

"Give me five minutes?" As he reached for the door handle, Hutch gently grasped his left shoulder and took in the eye contact, Starsky acknowledge and didn't pull away this time. Starsky exited the car and placed the gun in front, tucked in his pants and closed his jacket; he took in a deep breath and ran to the building.

Starsky entered the building quietly and looked around. As he made his way to the center, he could hear coughing. The building was in deplorable condition, cob webs and trash scattered about. He followed the sound to the corner and found Lipowitz cutting some coke on a piece of glass and sniffing through a rolled dollar bill. Starsky edged his way closer.

"LL!" His voice echoed the warehouse.

The man spun around, he had black hair and dark brown eyes. He had noted handsome features weathered by drug use. The man stood there and adjusted his eye sight.

"Davey Starsky?" Starsky walked closer with his hands to the side in an unarmed formation. "In the flesh!" As he smiled. The man smiled and began to quiver.

"Stay back Davey I don't want to hurt you. I know you're a cop, you just stay back!" He pulled his gun and pointed, his hand trembling. Starsky inched a little closer, watching LL's every move.

"Easy LL, I don't' want any trouble, just here to talk, pal." He put his hand out cautiously, hands open to each side of his body.

"Give me the gun!" He nodded, and kept his eyes glued on the nervous man. The man's hand shook as he perspired and blinked his eyes.

"Can't do that Major, don't make me hurt you. I can't handle things like before. The drugs keep me sane, funny huh?" The gun swayed back and forth as he spoke.

Hutch and Bailey approached quietly, as Hutch went left and Bailey went right. LL noticed them and began to shake even more.

"Tell them to stay back Davey, I mean it!" He pointed the gun at Starsky. Starsky put his hand up for them to remain where there were and pointed to Hutch.

"This is my partner LL, like we used to be, remember?" The man looked over to Hutch and back and laughed.

"We were a good team, Major; those gooks never knew what hit them. Ya saved my butt more times than I can count on one hand." His hands shook again, he looked over at Hutch and nodded.

"Loyal to the end, yup. Bet he'd take a bullet for you without a second thought, would right now if I tried to shoot ya." The perspiration blurred his eyes as he looked at Hutch. Starsky inched forward.

"LL put the gun down! Look at me?" He moved in closer, his eyes watching the nervous man's every move. The man cocked the gun and aimed.

"Stop right where you are, Major!" Bailey raised his gun; LL caught sight and fired, hitting Bailey in the shoulder grazing him, causing his gun to drop to the floor, Bailey grabbed his arm.

"LL don't, he's a kid. LL look at me! Did I ever let ya down?" Starsky stepped forward a few more inches, his voice louder. The man shook even more and pointed the gun back at Starsky. Hutch had his gun in hand in front of him. Starsky looked over at Bailey.

"You okay, kid?" Starsky looked over at Bailey, who stood still covering his arm with his hand looking like a deer in headlights.

"Just a graze Starsky." He panted and turned to look at him.

Starsky focused back onto LL, he calmed his breathing.

"LL listen, I need to take ya in, we can get ya some help. Remember the time ya busted your ankle, I took care of ya?" He inched a little closer. The man waved the gun cocking it again. The click of the gun being cocked several times echoed.

"Stop Major, there ain't no help for us, you know that. They treat ya like ya got a disease. Snow's my release, the only time, the screams go away." He looked over to the glass with white powder. Starsky glanced over to Hutch and back to the traumatized man.

"LL like Nam I got a mission, I can't let ya go. Let me call Major Travis he'll help us, maybe we could cut ya a deal? I know how ya feel, hey pal, whatever happens, we can handle it." Starsky was now perspiring, he took a deep breath as he awaited a response. The man started to cry as his body trembled from head to toe, he raised the gun once again.

"NO, I can't let ya do that, don't ya understand, you was there, it never leaves your head, bodies, women and children the smell of blood. They brought me in once, made me a human pin cushion and numbed me up with a white tuxedo. Not doing that again." He raised the gun to Starsky again. Hutch didn't move, but had his trigger finger ready, sweat trickled down the side of his face.

Starsky inched a few more steps.

"Take it easy, easy, give me your gun LL, we can do this together." He extended his hand out. Bailey squeezed his arm, he cleared his throat.

"I was studying in psychology class, they've released new studies, medications. There is help for you." He attempted to gain the man's confidence. The man stepped back and started to cry.

"It's the streets or the loony bin. No prison, no walls you know what I'm talking about. POW, we were there together Major, you let them torture you to save Larry. Stay back, you hear me? Stay back, Davey. All of you! I don't want to hurt you, Major." The hands before him quivered violently. Starsky bowed his head, his voice calm.

"You think I forgot, ya gotta make sense of the whole thing, LL give me the gun. Ya trusted me once. Remember?" The man lowered the gun and then raised it again.

"Major I trust you, I don't trust the goddamn system. I'm sorry, major, but I can't do this, I just can't do this. Please forgive me?" He turned the gun on himself and shot himself in the head, his body fell to the floor of the warehouse. The gun shot echoed, along with the sound of the body hitting the floor. Starsky put his hands out and fell to his knees.

"L -L!" Hutch dropped his gun and covered his mouth with his other hand, he closed his eyes. Bailey turned his head.

"Oh god! OH GOD NO!" Starsky bowed his head, repeating the words.

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A coroner's wagon and backup arrived along with an ambulance. Starsky sat in the passenger side of Hutch's car. Hutch stood near the ambulance with Captain Dobey and watched as Bailey received treatment for his arm, he seemed deep in thought. Hutch's mind was on the man sitting in his car, the events of LL's torment echoed in his mind. Dobey watched as the body was loaded into the coroner's wagon.

"Another tortured soul, how's Starsky?" He turned his attention to the blond detective. Hutch ran his hand through his hair.

"Hasn't said a word since…" As he looked at the coroner's wagon.

The Captain lowered his voice. "I could make a phone call to the department shrink, Dr. Mitchell."

Hutch looked at him with uncertainty and denial.

"Maybe, I just don't know." He sighed and his voice softened. The Captain touched Hutch's shoulder lightly as he looked toward the car.

"Let me know." Bowing his head, the usual gruff demeanor not present as he turned from the coroner's wagon.

Bailey adjusted the sleeves of his shirt and jacket and made his way over to Hutch and the Captain.

"It was just a crease Captain." He bowed his head. The young detective looked at Starsky sitting in the passenger seat of the Galaxie, then back to Dobey. He took a deep breath.

"Sir, I wanted to say that Detective Starsky is truly a remarkable man. I don't know him well, but I feel I'm a good judge of character. If he lets you in, consider yourself lucky. I sensed he questioned his mental status and maybe he was one of them, although he served and may have encountered horrific situations, he's among the few that have adjusted to survive." He shuffled his feet.

"Sir, after what I witnessed today I feel my focus needs to be redirect in assisting our veterans, I have a psych major maybe I should put it to use?" He looked at Captain Dobey and extended his hand.

"It was a pleasure to work with you, Hutch. Starsky told me he trusted you with his life, I think it's more than just his life. He needs you now more than ever." He extended his hand to Dobey.

"Sir, consider this my resignation." He shook his head.

"Starsky called it, he asked me if I was a cop or a shrink." He chuckled.

"Thinking I'm liking the shrink better, thank you, both of you." He walked over to a black and white and sat in the back seat for a ride. Hutch smiled.

"Bailey! Thanks for watching my back." Hutch, smiled and waved. He took a deep breath, looked at Dobey.

"Wish me luck!" He made his way back to his car.

The drive back to BCPD was done in total silence. Starsky leaned against the door with his head bowed supported by his hand that rubbed his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Hutch." Spoken softly, but the meaning emanating in the words. Hutch parked in his usual spot and shifted the Galaxie into park and turned to speak when Starsky opened the door bolting, sprinting across the parking lot, starting his bike and took off. Hutch sat there and took a long, deep breath.

"I won't let go, Starsk!" His voice soft and trembled.

sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssssssssss

Hutch finished the necessary paperwork involved with the case. He pulled the napkin from his pocket, the comments of the day unfolded in his thoughts.

"I'm sorry buddy!" He placed the napkin on the desk and continued to write:

 _And I won't let you fall, Don't be afraid to fall, I'm right here to catch you, I won't let you down, It won't get you down, you're gonna make it  
Yeah, I know you can make it_

Cause I will stand by you, I will help you through, When you've done all you can do, And you can't cope, And I will dry your eyes, I will fight your fight, I will hold you tight, And I won't let go, Oh I'm gonna hold you, And I won't let go, Won't let you go, No I won't

He sat at his desk, leaning forward, rubbing his forehead deep in thought folded the napkin and put it in his pocket. Hutch looked up at the clock which read 6:35 and headed out the door. He arrived at Starsky's within fifteen minutes and noticed the Torino was gone, he sat there for a moment and pulled the napkin and exited. He raced up the stairway pulled his key and opened the door and placed the napkin on the coffee table and left.

Hutch arrived at The Pits and went to the bar looking around.

"Hey Huggy?" He smiled, but the effort was forced. Huggy leaned against the back of the bar.

"I've been lookin' for you Blondie. Listen the dark wonder was in to apologize over an hour ago." He scratched his neck and sighed, ran his long fingers over his chin in thought.

"He's in a landslide, won't say why." The dark chocolate eyes showed worry. Hutch dropped his head and looked back up at Huggy.

"Is he drinking?" Huggy swung a towel over his shoulder.

"No, he declined on the libations, he came in apologized, paid your tab and his and told me it's been a ride and left. Mumble something about ghosts." The thin black man shrugged his shoulders. Hutch put his hand to his face and rubbed.

"Did he say where he was going?" The question settled uneasily in his features. Huggy leaned on the counter.

"Left with a Starsky special, all I know." As he sighed. Hutch stood and smiled.

"One word 'Nam'. I'll fill you in later, thanks Hug." He shook his head and walked out.

hhhhhhhhhhhhhsssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Starsky entered his place with the take out from Huggy's in hand. He kicked off his shoes and snapped the lamp on by the couch and noticed the napkin on the coffee table. He dropped the bag next to it and pulled his jacket off and placed it on a chair near the couch. Starsky reached for the napkin and opened it up and made his way to the couch and sat. He read the words out loud.

"I won't let go!" He took a deep breath, continued to read.

"It's like a storm, that cuts a path, It breaks your will, It feels like that, you think you're lost, but you're not lost on your own, you're not alone." He continued to read as he felt every emotion threatening to erupt. He reached up and wiped the corner of his eyes where tears formed, he pulled his bottom lip upward, like an upside down smile he closed his eyes and sighed.

"Welcome back Blintz, this is beautiful, you idiot." Shrugging, he took a deep breath and smiled.

Hutch arrived at Starsky's place relieved to see the Torino parked and lights on in the living room area. Hutch exited the car running up the stairway and froze once he reached the door. His thoughts running rampant as everything he rehearsed on the way over disappeared. Hutch took a deep breath and knocked and turned the knob to find it unlocked. Hutch opened the door and scanned the living room to see Starsky sitting on the couch with his feet propped along with a bottle of beer on the coffee table. Starsky didn't look up at him, Hutch entered and closed the door gently and noticed Starsky's bike gear piled onto a green duffle bag near the door. Hutch paused, refocused.

"Going somewhere?" He stopped in his tracks, moving his fingers anxiously. Starsky played with his pinky ring.

"Not much gets past ya detective!" He shook his head and smirked.

Hutch put his hands in his pockets and smiled.

"That's what my partner tells me." His smile disappeared. Starsky continued playing with his pinky ring.

"Not easy forgettin, maybe I ought a stop tryin'. I've decided on parking the bike and storing the Nam memorabilia until I get my head straight." He put his feet on the floor and sat up, the edginess of the past week seemed to have faded.

"Can't keep it in anymore." Starsky stood and went to the refrigerator and pulled a beer and popped the cap and handed it to Hutch. Hutch took it, raised his eyebrow.

"Thanks!" As he walked over to the arm of the couch and sat. Starsky leaned against the kitchen island with his arms crossed, his eyes spoke a million words of sadness and fear.

"Joey, LL and all the others like em' could have easily been me. I was feelin raw when I came back so I pushed it deep inside, left one jungle to find a concrete one. I locked it away." He looked at Hutch and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm just as much to blame, we were on a wild ride you and me, and it was great till it wasn't." Starsky raised his head and eyes to match another set of blue, Hutch sipped his beer and looked up.

"Starsky, I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you, us. I was too wrapped up in my own downward spiral I didn't see you were falling too." He turned his head in shame as the words trailed, his long fingers ran through the soft blond hair. Starsky sighed.

"I got one question." He looked at Hutch, who instinctively turned. Starsky pursed his lips.

"Are ya done the prima donna act?" The words said in humor as he grinned. Hutch shook his head and laughed.

"Don't brush it off, don't act like it's nothing Starsk." His voice trickled with humor, but still filled with guilt. Starsky walked around the couch and sat, putting his feet up and laid his head back.

"I'm not Hutch, we both lost focus on what was important, stubborn silence at the cost of our friendship, partnership." He lifted his head to make eye contact, the vibrant indigo eyes were back.

"We pushed to maximize gain and forgot to breathe along the way!" He took in a long breath, ruffled his curls with his left hand.

Hutch glanced at his partner and found himself overwhelmed at the brutal honesty, but not surprised.

"Once I rose above the noise and confusion just to get a glimpse beyond its illusion." Hutch sang the words so elegantly.

"Thank you, Kansas." His response, naming his favorite group, Starsky chuckled. "Carry on my wayward son!" His face displayed signs of seriousness, Starsky looked at Hutch.

"There's secrets it my life I can't hold onto anymore, Hutch, time I shared them if ya willin to hear em?" The stern tone softened, heartfelt.

"I trust ya partner, ya ain't lost me, us. I haven't let go, I won't let go!" He snorted to cover the emotions, he couldn't look at Hutch. "You better put music to that ya big dummy!" He smiled ear to ear.

Hutch nodded and smiled as he put his beer down on the coffee table and put his hands to his face, he blushed, his heart beating like crazy. Starsky played with his pinky ring again.

"It's what's inside that thick blond head of yours, put the brakes on. I'll meet ya half way?" He raised his eyes, cocked his head sideways. Hutch nodded and knew his partner understood him more than anyone, even his own family.

Starsky looked at him, smirked.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry. It's a good thing I'm the brains of this partnership!" The words left Hutch's lips sarcastically, he laughed as tears threatened to make their way out. The full Starsky grin formed.

"That may be so, I've got the charm and good looks, buddy boy." Starsky put his feet down and stood; Hutch stood and extended his hand to his partner. Starsky reached out, grasped it and pulled him into an embrace. Hutch closed his eyes and grabbed his partner's shirt in his grip. Starsky did the same as his chin quivered.

"Good to have you back Blondie, I sure have missed ya." He mumbled as he lightly slapped the blond counter half. Hutch pushed away and placed his hands on his partner's shoulder and squeezed and laughed.

"Good to be back buddy, I've missed you too!" He stepped back and chuckled.

"There's just one thing." He pulled his arm back, he swung and punched Starsky on the jaw. Starsky stumbled back and touched his jaw. Hutch winked at him.

"My jaw still hurts from the other night, and you're welcome!"

Starsky's eyes beamed as his body lunged forward to chase Hutch around the couch. Starsky pointed at Hutch who was laughing.

"I won't let go buddy oh pal!" He waved his finger at Hutch who put his hands up, grinned and ran around the couch.

"Now, now, Starsk, it was just words on paper. Starsky?" Starsky grinned and continued his pursuit.

"Actually, it was a napkin you big Lumix." He winked and climbed over the couch and tackled Hutch to the floor, both men laughing hysterically.

Starsky laid on his back, regaining his composure, Hutch doing the same.

"Say, Dobey said something about painting going on next week, suppose we bring the Ping Pong table in?" He looked at Hutch, his eyes wide. Hutch turned to his side and slapped Starsky on the stomach.

"Okay chump loser buys dinner, winner's choice!" He smirked.

Epilogue: The partner's are back to the me and thee philosophy. Hutch voiced his fears and inner demons. Starsky with the assistance of his partner and Trav finally unleashed the caged lion of Vietnam and its nightmare.

The Ping Pong game challenge took place, the usual banter and sarcasm present. Their friendship stronger than ever as though nothing ever happened. What awaited them in the BCPD parking lot could change their lives and possibly their careers.

Winning the game Starsky stood on the driver's side of his beloved Torino fumbling with his keys as Hutch waited patiently on the passenger side. Hutch's attention distracted by the sound of metal crunching and a police car heading their way with a high powered rifle directed at them "STARSKY GET DOWN! Beep…beep…beep!" The sound of the heart monitor, Hutch sits in front of a glass window in ICU as his partner and best friend lay in a bed barely clinging onto life.

 **I Won't Let Go…**


End file.
